Life's honey

Two years ago my brother sent me a text 'It's OK to lean on people who love you', but at the time this lady was not for leaning.

Some months before this text my life's table cloth was unceremoniously whipped out from under me and everything came crashing down around me. I lost a baby, a husband, a source of income and a home within a few months and I was emotionally winded to say the least. Looking back I can see what I did. Quite naturally I fought it. Like the Nepalese Government to the Maoists I was to my emotions. I fought against fear, I scratched the eyes of loneliness, I threw punches at shame. I relentlessly persued happiness, teeth barred, determined to be happy. I fought for peace and trampled everything that dared to get in the way. And like the Maoists to the Nepalese Government my emotions fought back, lashing out at anyone who crossed them. They wanted to be heard, but I didn't want to listen, which is understandable; given the choice what would you rather feel - happiness or pain?

I fought them all. I hid them in conversations, I wrapped them inside behaviours.

But on this trip with no one around me to help fuel the fight, with time on my hands, and without the distractions of day-to-day life, all these emotions surfaced and demanded an audience. I gave in and listened. At first it was a clamour of voices, but slowly they settled into a semblance of a queue and I listened to each one. I let each frightened emotion have its say without judging it. I gave it the attention it wanted. 'Don't try to understand me,' it pleaded, 'just love me.' I opened my heart to its pain and offered it a safe and loving place. And when they had all been heard I found there was still plenty of room in my heart for love.

I did this alone. The blog and my mobile supported me but essentially I did this alone. I had the luxury of time to myself.

Two years ago a lady called Cherry lent over and said to me 'I have a message for you. It is from someone who cares about you very much.' I looked at Cherry and watched the concentration on her face. Cherry, it turns out, is a clairvoyant.

'The message is from someone who loves you. I haven't had messages for a long time and I'm out of practice. I can't see the face clearly. I used to be able to see the faces.'

The message was to take things slowly, to be patient; this spirit apparently knew I was not a patient women (how very astute). Take things slowly Anna, be patient, and life will be beautiful.

I have met a lot of people on my travels and seen different cultures. Underneath we are all the same, separated only by experience and circumstance. It isn't money that makes life beautiful and it isn't sugar that sweetens it, it is people. Respectful, honest people. These people are the honey made by the bees of life. They are what we honey hunters are hunting for, and when you find them love them, lean on them, and offer them a place in your heart. After all there's plenty of room.